John was arrested yesterday afternoon from his mail route for falsifying Phenology notes for the past 25 years. "In a way, I'm kind of relieved. This is something I've been carrying around for a long time. I'd like to apologize to all those Phenologists out there who I have let down," said Latimer. "I do like watching reality TV that involves nature, that's close enough, isn't it?"
3 comments:
And while you're at it, John, why not own up to all the mail you don't deliver (political stuff you disagree with, magazines you think no one should be reading, rebate checks, antlerless lottery permits, etc.)? Complete the unburdening process. It's time.
I always suspected this. All this talk about "observing and recording cyclical change in nature" seemed inherently fishy.
I mean, if all of this change was really happening, wouldn't the investigative whizzes at Fox News or CNN have been reporting it? I don't seem to remember Wolf Blitzer or Bill O'Reilly ever mentioning "phenology". And they're on all day! Surely, if something was changing, they would have caught it in the act, talked about the change for 12 hours, discredited the change for another 6, and been reporting about whether or not the reported change was a change at all, or just a man in a change-suit.
Nice try Mr. Latimer, if that is your real name, but I won't buy into to your tree-watching propaganda and maelstrom of lies. You've ascended the glamorous and decadent heights of community radio as a so-called phenologist, as someone who sits around and watches things happen, and now it turns out you haven't sat or watched anything for over 30 years! Really, Mr. Latimer is just another example that people will do anything for celebrity; for that fast-paced, hooker and blow lifestyle of the American phenologist.
Okay, Mr. Latimer...if this has been a fake for 25 years, WHO is going to explain this to all those cool school kids who call you every week??????
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